Do you ever take those online quizzes? The type that tells you: what-kind-of-fairy-princess-hair-color-do-you-really-want? I don’t know why I bother to take them, they always want to publish the results on your Facebook page before giving you the final results, and I never let them. So why do I take the quiz, how will my life be changed if I know the hair color I really want if I were to suddenly become a fairy princess. I think I’m secretly hoping the answer will be “Surprise! You’re already a Fairy Princess! Why are you taking this quiz, silly?”

Today I took the How Stressed Out Are You test. I didn’t bother finishing, the answer choices already put me into a panic attack. Why validate the obvious? 90-100% is the most likely range.

I want to make my own quizzes, of stuff we really need to know. Which Chocolate is Most Compatible With Your Lifestyle. Ever feel confused when facing the candy aisle? Worry no more, this quiz will tell you whether you want 60% dark chocolate covered raisins or sea-salt infused chocolate with caramel. Drool. How Many Pairs of Black Shoes Do You Need? Notice I didn’t say “really need”, because we’re not at Armageddon yet, we all need black shoes, the “really” is already implied. I need to know this, what’s my balanced limit? What Kind of Fairy Princess Castle Should You Live In? I’m not a monster, of course I still want to discover my fairy princess life.

And these quizzes are infinitely more helpful than the old 1.0 version of online help games, the lists. List 25 Things About Yourself That Other People Don’t Know. If other people don’t know, it’s because I don’t want them to, so obviously I’m going to lie, and in the end, I learn nothing, and neither do you. Although I do miss the email versions, I used to change font color by subtle shades to see if anyone noticed the graduating colors. None of my friends confessed to seeing it, unless they were just being polite about noticing the madness of it all.

Until I can figure out how the whole quiz industry works, it’s back to using the canned versions. Where Should You Spend Your Lottery Winnings After You Win. Finally, one I can use!