My Friend is Not a Space Alien

As I was leaving a meeting the other day, I ran into a friend of mine. Well, not actually leaving the meeting itself, I was in the process of leaving the building. And I didn’t run into her, I squeezed past her while I left the elevator, she got on, and the rent-a-cop in the lobby did what appears to be his main job function, swiping his security card over the elevator card reader so the elevator will operate. In reality, he has my dream job.  But the uniform would need a drastic makeover.  Drab gray is not in my color wheel. Plus lose the hat.  Come on, you’re inside, what’s the hat for.

We rarely run into each other, so there was first the startled reaction of “Oh!  It’s you!”.  As she hopped into the elevator, we peered over the security guard (cause you’re not going to stop him from his primary job function), and as he was reaching in to push the button, she said “Wah wah, wah wah wah wah?”.  “Ok”, I replied, as the elevators closed, “That sounds great”.  However I literally had not comprehended a single word she had said.

Now, it has recently been noted that I may not pay attention when people are speaking to me.  While watching Euro 2016 the other night, I gave an answer to my friend “I have to work tonight”, thinking he was asking me why I wasn’t drinking.  Not even close.  His  actual question was “Hey where’s Nairi, is she coming?”

The elevator, and recent bar exchange is an example of my systematic inattention. Unfortunately, in the case of the elevator, I had just walked out of a great meeting, and ideas were whirling through my head on marketing names for products designed in Armenia.  Translation, I forgot seeing me friend roughly 3.37 minutes after it happened.

But all is not lost, a few days later, I remembered the exchange, and started wondering what she had said.  I came up with three options a) let’s have coffee b) we need to catch up c) I’m an alien.  I’m not going to lie, I was hoping for option C.  I was counting on it, I told friends, I started preparing a wish list.  Isn’t that what we hope for, aliens among us will be secret genies who can grant us wishes?  I was so lost in preparing my wish list that another few days went by before I wrote to her.

Since I’m writing this from my PC, not a new Macbook Pro, I’m NOT 5’4″ and my bank account hasn’t grown either, the answer was not “C”.  But hey, aliens out there, look, I’m prepared, my list is all ready, just call me.  I promise to listen.


Time Flies

Seriously? I haven’t written anything since January? And it’s June? How the hell does that happen. I’ve barely gotten used to writing 2016.  How is it June?!?!?!

I recently returned from a “vacation” in Fresno. And I use the term loosely. A real vacation involves sun, sand, and drinks with pink umbrellas. My vacations for the last 15 years have been church banquets, trips to the Indian gaming casino, and outings to Target. Who doesn’t love those red carts.  And this year I discovered that Starbucks lets you borrow a plastic cup holder that attached to the side of the cart to hold your iced chai tea latte.  Pure heaven.

Not that I don’t enjoy all those things, but I would just love one year, to be an adult and do something a little more exotic than eating a tri-tip sandwich from Gazebo Garden food truck night.

To top things off, this last vacation was the most uneventful one of them all. Nothing even close to an international incident. I am of course, highly disappointed.  But Norway beckons at the end of June, Vikings and all.  Adventure is surely probable.